Halal Dating

Dating is getting to know each other. Therefore, no dating is allowed on the premise that dating inevitably leads to premarital sex. 

In Islam consent is very important- that is neither women nor men can be married against their will. Chastity is defined Quranically in 23:6 as avoiding sexual relations outside marriage. According to the Qur'anic commands unmarried men and women should maintain their chastity until marriage. 

It is a common thing to see a white woman marrying a man from a Muslim country. In the past Muslims did not date because of arranged marriages. Are parents in North America going to arrange the marriages of their young children as is done in some Islamic countries? In an arranged marriage, a Muslim family usually investigates the prospective candidate further - talking with teachers, professors, employers, friends, family, Imams, colleagues, etc. to learn about his character.

Young American Muslims have come up with creative solutions to dating--and they fall into roughly three categories. The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal. The second group I call "Eid Muslims," because many are not strict in practice and attend mosques only on holidays. While technically they are dating haram, without chaperones, they're keeping physical intimacy to a minimum and parental involvement at a maximum. The third group dates "Sex and the City"-style, openly and freely leading a non-Islamic lifestyle, having premarital sex sometimes in a series of monogamous relationships.

This "Sex and the City" group consists mostly of Muslim men who date non-Muslim women, sometimes convert to Islam and marry their Muslim boyfriends. But some are unceremoniously dumped when the man's parents arrange a halal marriage. Ironically, the "Sex and the City" Muslim man can date freely without risking his standing in the community, while a Muslim woman with the same dating pattern would not only gain a bad reputation but risk losing a good arranged marriage proposal. Upon getting serious with a woman they're dating, though, some of these "Sex and the City" men suddenly reassert their strict Wahhabi upbringing. 

So young Muslims who engage in halal dating seek a commitment first and are vigilant about staying true to their religion. For both Strict and Eid Muslims, couples are introduced to each other, either by parents or friends. Strict Muslims still have a chaperone present and do not even hold hands.

Halal dating fosters a clear understanding between the man and the woman that they are committed to marrying each other. Eventually they will marry in a ceremony attended by their friends and family members.

Many Muslims marry non-Muslim women who convert as a result of halal dating. In Great Britain, Muslim youth intermingle freely and happily with most of their non-Muslim friends. Because there is no shame whatsoever at the school in mixing freely and exchanging views and feelings - but there is enormous suspicion placed upon young Muslim men and women who try to mix freely and exchange views as friends. It is  forbidden in Islam to seek  privacy with someone of the opposite sex without a third party present. 

Currently in North America a Muslim family enquires, discusses, and suggests prospective candidates to their children of marriageable age.